


Aubrey Little's Day Off

by gayporwave



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Gen, Summer, waterparks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-17 10:49:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16973184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gayporwave/pseuds/gayporwave
Summary: Jake Coolice cashes in on his certified "Best Friend Day™" coupon.





	Aubrey Little's Day Off

**Author's Note:**

  * For [implicated2](https://archiveofourown.org/users/implicated2/gifts).



**The Adventure Zone**

**Keeper & NPCs: Griffin McElroy**

**Aubrey Little/Lady Flame: Travis McElroy**

**TAZ Transcript Episode ?? - Amnesty - Part ???**

**Griffin:** Right, so, um, for this episode I just kinda want to establish what’s happening right now, currently. It’s the middle of the summer season in Kepler and it is absolutely scorching. I’m talking over 90-degree weather all ding-dong day. People are sweating buckets and congregating to every body of water available to cool off. The recently rebuilt H2Whoa: That _Was_ Fun is back in business and is absolutely jam-packed.

 **Travis:** Excellent! I was really worried about potential economic ramifications on Kepler. I would really feel shitty if we just tanked the economy here and put everybody out of a job for the summer.

 **Griffin:** [laughs] The Amnesty Lounge is, um, fairly empty. The air conditioning unit isn’t in the best shape and, if you had to guess, is probably pretty old so it’s kind of really hot inside, despite the number of fans Barclay has set up everywhere. The few people left in the lobby trying to relax look like they’re about ready to melt away in their seats and are just completely drenched in sweat while they huddle near the closest fans to them.

 **Travis** : Eugh, does it smell?

 **Griffin** : Oh, absolutely. It is fucking rank in there.

 **Travis** : _Gross_.

 **Griffin** : So, Trav, because it’s just me and you today I figured that we would do sort of a mini Lunar Interlude of sorts to splice in together with Juice and Dad’s --

 **Travis** : Alright! Pack it in everyone it’s Aubrey’s podcast now.

 **Griffin** : Yeah, balls in your court bro. What exactly is Aubrey getting up to today? You know Mama wanted you specifically for some special training later on in the day. It’s not mandatory by any means but you probably don’t want to disappoint her. She’s actually standing in the doorway of your room at the moment, waiting on you since she has you wake up really early every time you two train together.

 **Travis** : Um, I think that Aubrey is going to pretend to be sick. She doesn’t want to be mean to Mama and blow her off but, as you said, it’s super hot and I don’t think she’s really up to any sort of strenuous activity in this weather.

 **Griffin** : A-are you Ferrous Buellering Mama?

 **Travis** : [laughs] ABSOLUTELY.

 **Griffin** : Okay, how exactly does Aubrey go about doing this?

 **Travis** : Um, so obviously I’m going to make myself sound like I’m as sick as a dog and I’m going to uh, try and use magic to heat up my skin slightly so it feels as if I have a fever.

 **Griffin** : III was going to say that that requires a roll to manipulate, but let’s keep this casual and just rp this out.

 **Travis** : Makes sense, I rolled anyway and got a seven though.

 **Griffin** : Well, it’s a good thing I’m not counting it, huh? So, um, in this case, I’m going to say that Mama definitely takes a good look at you and she does initially seem suspicious and sort of squints her eyes at you, scrutinizing you all over before coming up to the bed to feel your skin. How hot did you make yourself feel?

 **Travis** : Um, I think that Aubrey tried to make herself feel like she was running a fever but her skin is probably a tad bit hotter than she intended. Not enough that it’s going to fry her brains from the inside out or anything, though.

 **Griffin** : Mama snatches her hand away from your skin and lets out a small curse. She says, “Jesus Aubrey, your skin’s burning up. You want me to fetch some medicine or something for you?”

 **Travis** : “No, no. I’m good I just need to take a long rest. I’m so sorry we’re not going to be able to train today.”

 **Griffin** : She frowns at you, shakes her head, and then says, “Don’t worry about it, just feel better alright? If you need anything just tell Barclay and he’ll get ahold of me.” After that, she gives you this one last look over before leaving.

 **Travis** : Aubrey, because she’s done such an excellent job and deserves an Oscar does a fist pump.

 **Griffin** : Not long after Mama leaves, another person comes bursting into your room and I think for a moment you get scared believing that it’s Mama coming back or one of the other Pine Guard members checking up on you --

 **Travis** : Aubrey ducks under the sheets.

 **Griffin** : You duck under the sheets but the voice that greets you isn’t Mama or anyone that you would typically expect, instead, you hear the sound of your good best friend Jake Coolice.

“Aubrey?” he says sounding pretty confused as to why you’re currently a giant lump underneath a blanket.

 **Travis** : Oh sick. Aubrey peers out from under the sheets and looks up at Jake. “What’s up, dude?”

 **Griffin** : When he sees you Jake has this absolutely goofy grin over his face and you notice he’s wearing a different outfit from his usual ski-fare. You’ve seen him gradually shed his normal clothes as Kepler has become hotter but now he’s got on this sort of stereotypical 90’s surfer dude get up right now. He looks absolutely radical.

 **Travis** : Love it.

 **Griffin** : Annndd, from his shorts pocket he pulls out a slip of shoddily cut out construction paper. Which you can see is drawn on in thick bulky black marker and you quickly realize it’s one of the coupons you made him for his birthday, one for a free day spending time with you.

 **Travis** : _Nice._

 **Griffin** : He holds it out and hands it to you while saying, “I wanted to cash on my birthday coupon from my best bud. You wanna go to H2-Whoa?”

 **Travis** : Aubrey looks psyched, who wouldn’t want to hang out with Jake Coolice? She takes the coupon and fistbumps him. “Hell yeah!”

 **Griffin** : He fistbumps you back and gives you a wide grin, which then turns to something a little more sly. “Did’ya want to invite Dani too?”

 **Travis** : Aubrey groans and runs a hand down her face. [ _quietly_ ] “...Yes.”

 **Griffin** : His tone is still teasing and he says, “Okay, cool. I’m gonna go downstairs and get ready, I’ll ask Dani for you if you want?”

 **Travis** : “ _Please_.”

 **Griffin** : He finger guns and leaves, still fingergunning. What’s Aubrey doing?

 **Travis** : Panicking, just a little. She’s absolutely stoked to hang out with Jake but now that Dani’s coming she’s nervous.

 **Griffin** : What’s she wearing?

 **Travis** : I think Aubrey is the type to wear some swim shorts and a t-shirt. She’s not uncomfortable with her body by any means but bikinis just aren’t her style. Once she’s got a spare outfit to change into, her towel, and everything else she needs she’ll head downstairs to look for Jake.

 **Griffin** : Cool, cool. You head down to the lobby of the lodge and spy Jake and Dani waiting around for you. Dani is wearing a simple bikini swimsuit with her hair pulled into a loose bun and a pair of sunglasses resting on top of her head. As for Jake, he’s changed into something a little more drastic than you. He’s wearing bright neon swim trunks with a funky pattern ripped straight from an 80’s bowling alley carpet, one of those tourist umbrella hats that look good on absolutely no one, and a generous layer of sunscreen all over his body.

 **Travis** : [ _laughing_ ] “Jake, why do you look like the least cool person on the planet?”

 **Griffin** : “ _Cool_?” Jake says seriously and stares at you from behind his sunglasses. “You know what isn’t cool, Aubrey? _Skin cancer_.”

 **Travis** : “You know what, that’s fair.” [ _pause_ ] “...Do you even get cancer? _What are you_?”

 **Griffin** : “Radical.”

 **Travis** : [ _laughs_ ] Okay, Griffin. How are we going to get there? I don’t have a car and I don’t think we’re going to walk across the whole entire town.

 **Griffin** : Dani has a car actually, or well, more accurately it’s a Jeep.

 **Travis** : ...Sylphs have licenses?

 **Griffin** : ... _Yes_? Anyway, you all pile up your stuff in Dani’s Jeep and make your way to the newly rebuilt H2-Whoa. It actually looks as if the destruction you caused was to some benefit, the newly rebuilt rides look far better than they did before and old wood has been replaced.

 **Travis** : See? We should break more things around here next time.

 **Griffin** : Please don’t.

 **Travis** : No promises.

 **Griffin** : When the three of you approach the ticket window, a bored-looking nasally voiced teenager is behind the glass ticket window. He says, “Hey y’all welcome to the newly rebuilt and rebranded H2-Whoa: 2 Fun 2 Handle. What can I get for you?”

 **Travis** : [ _laughs_ ] I pull out my wallet to pay for my ticket.

 **Griffin** : Jake, he, uh, stops you with his hand and says, “Don’t worry, I’ll pay for everyone.”

 **Travis** : “Aw man Jake, but your using one of your b-day coupons. I’ll pay for myself.”

 **Griffin** : He shakes his head. “Nah it’s cool, I don’t really use my money for anything else and money spent on friends is money well spent.”

 **Travis** : [ _audibly touched_ ] Griffin, why is Jake so nice?

 **Griffin** : ...He’s just a cool guy.

 **Travis** : [ _groans_ ]

 **Griffin** : So! Now that you’re in, what’s first on the agenda?

 **Travis** : I think we’re going to hit up all the rides we can before the park closes. Definitely going to chill out in the lazy river for a while.

 **Griffin** : You do exactly that, killing a couple of hours in the process. The three of you have an absolute blast on the rides that you to share a tube. The mood between you is pretty light-hearted and you haven’t laughed this hard in quite a while.

 **Travis** : Awwww. You know what this trip needs?

 **Griffin** : What?

 **Travis** : _Ice cream_. Are there any stands around? If so Aubrey wants to get some like right now.

 **Griffin** : There’s a good number of stands strewn around the park and you only have to stand in line for a couple of minutes before you’re able to order some. What kind do you get?

 **Travis** : You know the ones shaped like characters that are ALWAYS wonky?

 **Griffin** : Yes.

 **Travis** : Aubrey gets the one that’s shaped like spiderman. Fuck yeah.

 **Griffin** : Dani sort of raises an eyebrow at you. “I’ve never had one of those, are they any good?”

 **Travis** : “You’ve never had one?? Oh man, you’ve gotta…” Aubrey orders her the second best one, Bubbles, and hands it to her. What’s Jake getting?

 **Griffin** : Hmmm, one of those rainbow snowcones.

 **Travis** : Good taste.

 **Griffin** : The three of you return to the same chairs you plopped your stuff down on and enjoy your ice cream. Dani looks kind of hesitant to eat this Bubbles ice cream that looks like an affront to god himself but once she takes the first lick you can tell she’s pretty into it. It’s super hot though, so it’s kind of melted all over her hand and you notice that she’s got some melted ice cream at the corner of her mouth.

 **Travis** : Oh man, um. [ _hesitant_ ] “D-Dani? You’ve got a little something…”

 **Griffin** : “Huh?”

 **Travis** : [ _audibly breathes in and out]_ Aubrey reaches out and wipes away some of the ice cream at the corner of Dani’s mouth, in what is hopefully the least awkward and least creepy way possible.

 **Griffin** : Dani goes stiff and lets you wipe at her mouth. You can see that she’s clearly flushed red and turns her face toward the ground. “Thanks,” she says and it’s then that Jake butts in by shoving a map of the waterpark in your face. “Look!”

 **Travis** : What’s he talking about?

 **Griffin** : One of the new waterslides. It’s billed as the largest and most danerous in the park. You can see it clearly from where you’re at and it is absolutely mammoth. Towering over you and standing high amongst the backdrop of Kepler’s pines. The look on Jake’s face is absolutely ecstatic and he keeps pointing at the picture of the slide. “We’ve _gotta_ ride it.”

Dani nods in agreement and you can see that she’s just as eager as Jake is. How do you feel about this?

 **Travis** : Aubrey’s not like afraid of heights or anything, but she’s definitely feeling a little terrified by the idea of going on this thing. But Jake really wants to go on it and Dani might thinks she’s cool if she does so she’s going to nod and pretend. “Yeah! Let’s go!”

 **Griffin** : Great. The three of you make your way on over to this waterslide. It’s um, pretty popular? So it takes you a while to actually get to the top of it in order to ride and the entire time you just become painfully aware of how tall this thing is as everything below you gets smaller and smaller when you climb up this spiral staircase. Eventually, you make it and Jake is the first to go. He does a quick dab before getting into the arms crossed position and just fucking going for it.

 **Travis** : Oh god it’s not like Der Stuka is it?

 **Griffin** : It is exactly like Der Stuka.

 **Travis** : I think Aubrey is absolutely terrified and trying not to make it seem that way in front of Dani, but she’s not doing a very good job.

 **Griffin** : It’s Dani’s turn to go and once she notices your hesitation she stifles a small laugh and gives you a look over and then says, “You’re not chickening out are you?”

 **Travis** : “A-absolutely not, I’m just bracing myself. I absolutely love giant waterslides that are almost at a 90-degree angle. They’re my favorite.”

 **Griffin** : “If you say so! Meet you at the bottom, okay?” she says and then takes off herself, leaving a splash of water behind. Next to the top of the slide another bored looking teenager waits for you to get on and gives you a look before pointing back to the staircase. “If you don’t want to ride you can just go back down the way you came from.”

 **Travis** : “N-no, I’m good,” Aubrey says and then _reluctantly_ gets on the slide.

 **Griffin** : You swallow the fear and hesitation you feel and take the plunge down the waterslide, your eyes squeezed tightly the entire time and before you know it you’re completely submerged into the water waiting at the end of the slide. Jake and Dani are already there and earnestly cheer for you. “You did it!”

 **Travis** : [ _laughs_ ] I think this is the moment where we all jump and high-five each other like an 80’s movie and the frame freezes on us.

 **Griffin** : You do exactly that and then the camera pans away to behind you to reveal a familiar woman lounging on a beach chair under the cool shade of an umbrella, book in hand. She looks up from her book and removes her sunglasses to stare directly at all three of your backs. With a small shake of her head and a knowing smile, she turns her attention back to the book.

 **Travis** : Oh shit. Does Aubrey notice this at all?

 **Griffin** : [ _with a loud pop_ ] Nope.

 **Travis** : Well! Aubrey had fun!

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Holidays!!
> 
> I hope you enjoy this story! your prompts for meta and comedy + that typical good good McElroy dynamic really inspired me to write this.


End file.
